tonyarose

01:48 am: What's Happening With Tonya????
Well, she's in the process of moving into her new apartment in downtown Berkeley with two girls she's known since starting college. The apartment is nice and she'd like it if her friends visited her.
Also, she recently had her laptop, digital camera, wallet, and backpack stolen from her out of her room at Cloyne! In addition, her roommate's laptop and digital camera, and her friend's iPod and digital camera were stolen. Pretty sweet, huh?
On the bright side, though, a brand new MacBook should be in the mail for her in just a few short days.
She also seems to have started referring to herself in the third person. Will she continue to do this, or will she revert back to the normal first person form? Tune in next week for the answer and more thrilling events in the life of Tonya.

03:54 pm: Berkeley
This year has been one of the most eventful so far, and has made me think hard about how I'm living my life.
My co-op has been involved in pretty serious matters since the beginning of the semester. There was the pot cookie incident, which was really more comical than anything, but did bring EMTs and police into the house and caused a pretty decent media response.
Then Fre, a close friend to many in the house, died at Cloyne Friday evening. A candlelight vigil is scheduled for Wednesday, and his funeral is this weekend in southern California. It's so terrible and so tragic.
The whole thing just makes me want to really become close with my friends and let them all know that I care about them and love them, because losing someone you were close to in any way is just awful.

03:38 pm: So I was walking with Allie and Marissa to the gym, and we're walking down Hearst, and we see this guy in a Cal Dining jumpsuit-style uniform walking toward us. Just walking normally. Then he gets this look like "I'm a bear and I'm growling and mad" and he just runs at us growling and baring his teeth. We had to jump out of the way. Then he just kept walking normally. Probably one of the crazier things that's ever happened to me.

02:56 am: Que?
Why am I awake right now? I probably shouldn't be: class tomorrow, cooking tomorrow. Cloyne is fun this year. Here are a few reasons:

. Jason hula-hooping for a straight hour and a half, while holding a tall can of Coors light
. This new girl who I've dubbed "The Drunk Girl," because she is, always
. Multiple super cute, outdoorsy curly haired boys
. Dance parties in the courtyard with awesome people

I like my house!

11:32 am: At Home
I came home for a week before I leave for New York. My grandma was put in a nursing home in Riverbank, about an hour from Sonora, and my mom and I have been driving there every day to see her. We didn't get along very well when she lived with us in Sonora, and now she can barely speak due to a stroke she had a few years ago. Needless to say, we don't have much to talk about. So my mom and I go and sit in her room, and my mom fusses over her and talks to the many nurses who rush around the facility, and I sit there on the couch and talk to the other ladies in her room. My mom is so upset about the whole thing, and I can imagine that seeing your parent in that state would be awful, but my grandma was a serious alcoholic and wasn't really present for a good portion of my mom's life, so sometimes I think she shouldn't get so down on herself about it.

In better news, my mom and I are going to Monterey for a couple of days. Then I'm off to NY, then San Clemente, then Berkeley and welcome week and parties and Cloyne. I'm very ready for the semester to start.

04:09 pm: Memorial Glade in the Summer
Allie's visiting for a few days and we're lying out in the sunshine on memorial glade, equipped with a summer "fun pack" of ice water, ipod speakers, beach boys, pens and paper, books, and a pug dog that we're babysitting for rachel (that last one might not be part of the pack, considering it has already run away four or five times). it's so much more relaxing to be at Berkeley in the summer time. very lazy.

hawaii was one of the best experiences i've ever had. black sand beaches, crystal blue water and powdery sand, abandoned beaches, shocking black lava floes, and some of the most interesting people i've met. even a little romance with a tall, ginger norwegian. what more could i ask for. nada.

01:03 am: summer pt. 2
once again, it's not an exciting day, but that's alright. i walked down through the beautiful, flowery little houses to andronico's and did some shopping amongst the yuppies. i've been eating mostly vegan, and it has decreased the price of my groceries and increased the healthfulness of them, while forcing me to actually learn how to cook vegetables. you'd think i would have figured it out by now, but apparently i'm not a very good vegetarian.

if watching Eurotrip counts, that and shopping brings my total activity level to 2 today. doing good.

cloyne has been pretty uneventful for me, although the room to room on saturday night resulted in the courtyard, fence, and walls of W1 hallway being tagged by adderalled-up people. there's a nice "Tim is Ace" written on the door to the backyard fence, and a touching tribute to the English boys spraypainted across a large chunk of the basketball court. i'm alright with it, but not everyone is, as it's being discussed at council tomorrow, as is the possible png'ing of andy allen. should be an interesting council.

i'm leaving for hawaii on sunday, and am going back to sonora from wednesday till saturday, so if anyone is going to be there, they should definitely give me a call. i'll have two lovely english girls with me, if that's any incentive.

alright. goodnight, everyone!

11:09 pm: I haven't done anything in here for a long time. I guess there hasn't been much to say. Henry went home to England, which was awful. I was crying by the time we got to University. But I hung out with him at the airport for an hour before he had to board, so I suppose I got to spend as much time as possible with him before he had to go. I still miss him a whole lot. He was a good roommate for the last month or so, and we got really close so it was sad to see him leave. I think that I'm going to visit him in England over Christmas.

Cloyne is a lot different over the summer. It's much quieter, or maybe I just think it is because I'm not down partying every night. Either way, the Irish people that have moved in are pretty nice, but it's a little hard to get in with them since they already seem to be a pretty tight-knit group. Basically I've been doing a lot of hanging out with Matt and Marissa, Laura, Heather, Tim, Moriah and Dave, although I was just home for a week and thus didn't see anyone at all. I didn't even call people from Sonora, since it's kinda nice to be disconnected sometimes.

It was father's day recently as well. I wrote my dad and my grandpa cards, and am gonna go see A Prarie Home Companion tomorrow morning with my dad, then hang out with Sophie for a while.

I think I'm ready to have a boyfriend again. It's been almost 9 months since Josh and I broke up, and I think I've dealt with it well, considering the circumstances of our breakup. I haven't talked to him in months and I think that that's good, and I've begun to realize how much I changed myself and sacrificed for him, and that I'm not going to do that in future relationships. I think it was definitely for the best that we broke up, but I also want someone again. Whatever. I'm sure something will come along if I just relax and let things happen.

01:26 am: lately whenever i see the word 'advocacy' i think it says 'avocado'

09:38 pm: I'm in the library right now... reading about the Egyptian economy can only hold so much excitement.

I've been tanning (yes, I know it's bad, I'm doing it anyway) and my tummy is itchy because I went in for a little bit too long. I have a 5-6 page paper to write, but after that it's spring break, and i'm just ridiculously excited. going to mexico is probably exactly what i need right now. hopefully things will go well for me and i can meet some attractive boys. or not, i think i'd be fine with it either way. with the josh cheating on my revelation i just experienced about a month ago, i'm really not down with boyfriends or anything like it right now. basically i'm back to step 1 in the breaking up phase, where i don't want any committment. this time it's because of hating josh, though, not because i'm still in love with him. blah. relationships take too much effort.

On a happier note, I went to my friend Shannon's party last saturday and saw my friends Chris, Riley, and Kelly. Raj didn't show up, which i was a little sad about (i called him and left a semi-drunk message), but seeing everyone else was so great.

I think i'm gonna go home soon/now. library makes me hurt.

02:53 pm: in class
I just wanna go home and get in bed. That fire alarm this morning cut my sleep off too soon (that's a lot of double letters there).

Valentines day was pretty good... this guy called me and came to the little party and hung out and he's in my class so I saw him today and it was going. I invited him to the party on saturday and he's gonna come to that too so hopefully it works out. I kinda like him, and it's really exciting after months of being all single.

I kinda wanna call him today and hang out tomorrow or something, but I don't know, since I'm for sure gonna see him on saturday. Stressful! Any advice? I got tons on tuesday night from all the guys who were there: don't wear that sweatshirt, just wear the wifebeater, maybe pull one sleeve down over the shoulder, don't talk to him too much, flirt a little with other guys, etc etc. I think I did alright. Class with him was good, and he accepted my invitation the the party on Saturday.

He's friends with Rachel in the house, he's her intern. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't want any jealousy/matchmaker/wierd relationship with her if at all avoidable. I'm sure it'll be fine. Whatever. Class now. Bye.

03:13 pm: In Class
I can't really seem to concentrate on anything anymore. I listened good and hard for an hour, then decided that going online would be a better way to spend the last half hour of class. I've got a crossword puzzle for the next hour and a half of class, which is Anthro 3 and boring, so I should be alright.
I wouldn't have to do this if wireless at Cloyne weren't so difficult to figure out... basically Finny is a liar, and the password being changed back to the old one isn't real.
I have been having the craziest dreams lately. It's like I'm half asleep and half awake, and the dreams are just so real.
Yesterday morning between 9:00 and 11:00 I dreamed that I was in class with a bunch of old highschool friends and Henry and Angus or Matt was there and we all had to say the flag salute. Then, later in that sleep period I dreamed that I was standing in a culdesac and there was this man driving around in a little electric car that was making sparks off the end of it, but the car was the size of a remote control car and the man was about the size of my hand. I got mad at him for all the sparks he was making, and put my foot on the car to stop it.
Today, when I was sleeping between 12:00 and 2:00 pm I dreamed that there was a little squirrel sized raccoon in the Cloyne backyard and I was watching it and then it started chasing me, and I ran out the back door and down Hearst and it kept chasing me. My legs wouldn't work and I kept kindof tripping and falling, and I couldn't really open my eyes enough or run fast enough and I was really scared that he would bite me and give me rabies. Then after that one I dreamed that I woke up and it was 2:00 and time for class, but going to class meant working at this store that sold really cute valentines cakes and candies, all homemade. In my dream I thought, if all class were like this I'd go every time. There was also a really nice copper espresso machine behind the counter and I was really excited because I could drink as much as I wanted.
Then I really woke up and it was only 1:50, so I slept for another 10 minutes.
Moral: Maybe I should start sleeping regular hours and not taking two hour naps...

06:26 pm: School's started again, and I'm just really not up for it.

10:46 pm: The New Year
So I couldn't stay in Sonora. I drove to Berkeley on Thursday and hung out with Tim before he left for Argentina. The next day I drove back to Sonora, and the next day after that I drove back to San Francisco with friends that I hadn't seen for a really long time. So New Years was in San Francisco this year, as it was last year, except this time I was single and took advantage of that...
I'm in Santa Cruz right now. Me and my friends Jordan and Holly and Lindsay and Crystal drove here yesterday and went to this crazy party last night. There are gonna be pics up on facebook. There was a guy with two bellybuttons... that's right, two. And he showed us, and I took a picture. It was gross, but a nice contrast from the usual-and somewhat boring- one bellybutton.

Tonya being single update:

I've upped my number from 1 to 5 in three months. What do you think about that, huh?

P.S. Number 5 was a kindof interesting story. I'll tell you about it when I get home.

P.P.S. I've added another rug burn/bruise to my left knee. My whole left leg is covered in little reminders of what happens when you get drunk. It looks fucked up.

Okay. I'm gonna go back to watching this movie and being cuddled up now. I miss everyone tons and tons.

05:15 pm: Hour 3
I've been studying for three hours now, which isn't really that much now that I think about it. I was in the library for 5 hours yesterday and the muscles in my right hand were sore the next morning.
The North Reading Room in Doe is actually nice to be in for long periods of time. The ceiling has nice flower shaped details and one of the huge windows perfectly frames the sunset, which was beautiful tonight. The sky underwent a transition from light blue and yellow to fiery colors of pink and orange and has now faded to a smoky blue grey color. A nice respite from the trivia of Reza Shah during the early 1900s. I also brought my headphones with me and have been listening to tunes by Dolly Parton, Bob Marley, Donovan, and Kanye West. Me and Pearl had a nice little dance party yesterday, in fact.
It's list time, so that I can give my brain a little rest from writing actual sentences.
Good Things:
1. Sunset tonight
2. Actually getting work done
3. Toga party last night
4. Cracking my knuckles/neck/back (I've done these at least twice in the last 10 minutes)
5. The song 2 Doors Down by Dolly Parton
6. My sleep last night. It was deep and incredible, unlike the sex that I didn't have.
Bad Things:
1. See the second half of number 6

Actually, I'm alright with being single right now. I realized that without a boyfriend I'm free to do absolutely whatever I want. Mainly being single has made me want to travel everywhere. I think that all the British people being here has inspired me as well. I want to go all over the globe.

Mmm... as much as I hate it, History of the Middle East, specifically the Sykes-Picot Agreement, calls me.
Bye bye.

08:02 pm: Fuck yes
I'm finished with my last bits of real homework for the semester (Six page paper about a Japanese-American woman's experiences with race, field trip write up for a field trip I didn't actually go on, final art project).
Oh my god it's an incredible feeling. Now I just have to deal with the three finals I have coming up.
Here's my plan in the short term:
1. Sit and revel in being done for about 10 more minutes
2. Take the best shower ever (I haven't showered since saturday because of being busy/stressed, so this is gonna be a good one)
4. Clean the laundry room.
5. Cook snack with Sophie
6. Eat it!! Woo!
I feel elated.

02:32 pm: Taryn Says
If anyone (or a group of people) buys her a blender for Christmas, she'll suck their cock(s).

01:50 am: Wednesday Night, 1:36 am
I can hear the rain falling outside. I walked downstairs and by the courtyard door and could see the slick pavement and smell the freshness that means it rained. And I didn't even hear it, which makes it better because it's like a nice surprise. A surprise made even nicer by the fact that the radiators are once again working and I can no longer see puffs of breath as I walk around the house. Who knew I would be so happy to hear that awful, radiator clanking once again echoing through my little room?
I've been writing a paper, so I'm in writing mode right now. I've written four fairly decent pages in about five hours, so I'm happy. The final draft isn't even due until next Thursday, so by then the paper should be flawless.
My tummy is making growling noises at me. There's a half-eaten bowl of the snack that was served tonight, but it's a tad inedible. It's this apple/sugar crisp type of thing but it's either too sugary or too salty. I can't really tell. There's also a banana sitting on my coffee table, but it banged around in my purse all day (I was going to eat it for breakfast) and now has stripes and spots that make it look unappealing. I think that sleep will be a good remedy for my hunger as well as my tiredness. My eyes are getting that burning feeling around the edges and my ass is almost asleep from sitting on the same corner of the couch for hours while writing my paper. I took a brief break to tidy the laundry room, but that's it.
Pearl's spending the night in our room tonight, which is nice. It's like a sleepover... well, it is a sleepover. She's online right now, and, like me, did not accomplish the amount of work she set out to do tonight. It's technically Thursday now, though, and that means the start of the weekend, and the end of Tonya doing any work for at least 2 days, probably 3.
Goodnight all, and thanks to Ashley for your Sigur Ros album that I downloaded tonight, and to Forrest for your "Quiet Music" playlist that was perfect for reading and paper writing.

12:13 pm: Council/Triple Rock
Council was crazy last night with all the glass pit/gate tension and argument. I liked how people were semi-respectful but not really at all: "I understand and respect your opinion, but think that what you're saying is bullshit." It was a little bit like watching television or something. Not trying to undermine the importance of some of the issues discussed, but it was a very entertaining 1 1/2 hours. Also, sitting next to Matt, who managed to drink 5 beers during council, and Andy, who's, well... Andy, made the council very enjoyable for me.
I went to Triple Rock last night with a bunch of people and didn't drink at all. Very proud of myself. Plus, I had a super good time, which restores my faith in the idea that alcohol isn't always necessary to feel comfortable in a group setting. It was basically just me and Sophie and a big group of guys, and I felt that everyone fulfilled their stereotypical gender roles very nicely. All 6 or so guys were immediately enthralled in the European football/soccer on TV, and Sophie and I talked about Sex and the City. We did, however, end up having a totally integrated conversation about Sex and the City, and how maybe it's not as progressive as some people make it out to be, and how really it portrays women as man-obsessed shopaholics rather than independent singles. That conversation ended abruptly when one of the teams on TV made some "incredible" or "classic" or whatever goal.
Sophie and I had been involved in a pretty heated discussion of just these topics (sexism and gender roles and that stuff) right before we were invited so the night just illustrated perfectly some of the ideas we had been talking about. It's nice when things work like that, no?

02:49 pm: Good Day
I really like making my lectures as comfortable as possible. I bring activities, maybe some food, a scarf or (today) slippers for my feet. Today I brought two satsumas, my beloved computer, and the Squelch, which I actually walked out of my way for even though I was already 10 minutes late. For some reason, eating the mandarins makes my body warm up. I'm not really sure why, but it makes eating them a little more fun. Pineapples do the same thing.

I was in C1E today and it made me happy. They're room is all decorated with Christmas ornaments hanging from the ceiling, snowflakes dotting the walls, and festive songs filling the room (which is really nice unless it's annoying cats "singing" Jinglebells, and even then it's alright). I participated and made a snowflake. It came out all creepy with jagged edges, so I sprinkled some glitter on it and hung it right between Taryn and Ashleigh's bed.

Oooh, also, I ate a piece of the fudge that Jonnieann had and it made me wanna make some. I'm going to ask Forrest to make some with me, I think. Any food he makes turns instantly delicious. He's like King Midas, except instead of turning things to gold he makes things taste good, and there's none of the bad "oops, I turned my food into gold" thing... maybe I took the analogy too far...?

As you can see, or maybe you can't, it's 3:01 right now, and I'm still typing which means that ONCE AGAIN this stupid class is ending late. Awesome.

I went to Target on Sunday and didn't buy anything... I'm kindof kicking myself for that. I love getting tons of crap for cheap.

Class is over, now I'm in C1E again, having a very merry (almost) christmas.